I promise you I did not photo shop this... I found this red neck over compensating his pride at a local resturant. It seems that he wants all of us to know that he loves his country... Funny thing is.. Those flags are made in China. I dont get it.. why 6 flags? are there 6 Americas? is he OCD and he prefers the number 6.. and on the front windows?! Does this guy NEVER open his front windows.. "One sec officer, can you hold the flag as I open my window?" This just proves to me what I already know, over compensations are usually a cause of a small penis.. Hes got a Ford F250, 6 flags, and a appietite for gas consumption. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Burger King Nastiness

Today I became a temporary balimic minus the binge eating. Not knowing what to nutrify my lonesome body with for lunch I decided upon a "single stacker" from Burger King. Just about 3/4 done with this morsel of death, I got curious, opened it up, and this is what I see... Now, I know ground beef when I see it, but this gray, polka dotted, slab of meal worms crawled back out of my stomach as fast as it went in. I cant blame anyone but myself.. what did I expect from a burger that only cost me $1.07. Even worse, what did I expect from Burger King. I doubt I can ever eat at the 3 points of the devils pitchfork every again after seeing this... Those are McDonalds, Wendys, and Burger King. The old statement is definately true.. Quantity is not Quality..

Cat-Hole

This is a definately a great idea when your snorting Meth for 4 days straight. This neanderthal has obviously decided to ink a portrait of his pussy on this stomach.. One miscommunication with the TAT-MAN and you end up with a kitten instead of a manly vagina. What worries me is that this mans belly button looks like the umbilical cord was bit off by a tarpon. I can imagine this animal lover ironicly getting mauled by a gang of cats.. or getting his ass whooped by a bunch of pussys.. Lol (pun intended) I think that after installing a kitty on your body.. you lose the right to call anyone else a pussy.. or an asshole.. for that matter.. This tool makes a quife (vaginal fart) look manly.... and for that im impressed! But for real... this shmuck set human evolution back atleast 20 years.. So for that.. I rate this TAT 3 cow patties out of 5

Are You Real?

This couple is taking a stroll down the middle of a 2 lane road. The alleged father of the little monster in the stroller is staring down the car because they honked at them. This couple seems to forget a vital part of Floridas road rules... YOU NEED A CAR! These siblings are probably high on oxycontin looking for a law suit to pay for their next doctors appointment. Even after someone honks at them they dont move over to the SIDE of the road! MAYBE because thier minds lack the natural power of common sense. That little person inside your head saying "hey this isnt a good idea" but most likely they only have the little monkey with tamborines doing back flips where thier liquified brain matter should be... And we allow people like this to have children?! Can you imagine this child in a few years? Parking on parkways and driving down driveways.. like "what did I do?!.. This is what my parents taught me was right!".. This is what happens when both supervising adults of this child were the result of a Pre-Cum ejaculation.. The sperm that sits at the tip of the penis exposed to the natural elements instead of being protected in the labyrinth of the testicals. Simply put, theses two mental patients, should have this child taken away.. this child is going to grow up and be able to VOTE?! (If were lucky he'll be a felon by the age of 12) But what if hes not? AMERICA.. these are the kind of people we need to be careful of! We should have to fill out an application in order to have a child! (China does it...)

This mother has lost her maternial instincts and replaced them with an addiction to Roxys, and we let them roam this wonderful country of ours.. and then we're liable to pay taxes so that this Parental Unit Of The YEAR can live off section 8, Food Stamps, SSI, Disability, Cash Assistance, Church Donations, and Fundraisers... Think twice when you give the pan handler the change in your ash tray.. They may be IDIOTS RAISING IDIOTS...

Banana Scented Motorcycle Dueche Bags

This was supposed to be about the lifeless zombie who was tailgating me on his cock vibrator in the rain no less, but I found this video on youtube that much more entertaining. "Did I pop a tire?" No dickhead, you just financed a vehicle for 72 months @ $850/month and since your soft skull cannot grasp the concept of physics, you flipped that bitch into a ditch in the 3rd week. Next time your credit gets good enough to afford a ride with more than 100hp do your testaserone show on a road that is atleast 2 cars wide.. Its called a safety zone Billy Bob Jr Jr.

Check out the video below.. check this crack lord out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcFy-vDXNiI&feature=related

WTF?

I mean how do I explain this? Bitch look like a bad remake of Black Hawk Down. Is that an award in that toolboxs' hand? Do me a favor and drink the Kool-Aid, but not before you actually dig your own grave, no one should be burdened with your dead weight.

Parkin' Lots...

School started for me this week.. And as you can tell I cant even get away from idiots while attending a institution of higher learning. This paint chip eating Redneck pulls into the spot next to me and doesnt even question her parking job. Now that gay Rav4 aint mine.. but I feel sorry for them (kinda) I'd let you know how I feel about that but thats not todays topic. This minivan driving, I had 5 kids by the time the 5th one was 5 years old and finally I can go back to school with my massive stretch marks poppin' out of my tubetop... Slut bitch. BTW yes.. that is a dent on the trunk. there are also 2 more dents on the left side and another on the right side that you can kinda see..  I had to move my car.. but I also sat in the parking lot for a good 30 minutes trying to figure out HOW someone can park like THIS and just walk away! I honestly cannot wrap my mind around it. Is this shit a brain teaser? I wish I could of taken a picture of the inside of this caravan as well. With no middle seats.. shit looked like a barn... kinda reminded me of the void in between this bitches ears.. The ironic thing is.. I walked into my critical thinking and logic class and this gonareha infested sliver of soap on the shower floor was in my class! But heres the kicker, if you dont know how bad Florida drivers are, let me explain this to you..  the on road driving test, it involves a circle made from cones, a stop sign held down by a sand bag, and a diagnol parking spot. So can I really blame this inbred?

Genius

Todays winner of my FIRST EVER ARE YOU REAL?! AWARD
Dear Genius, what can I say about you that probably hasnt already been said? If I only could know what those chinese letters on your rosy cheeks mean. Your like Lil Waynes stunt double; but only if he was the lead character in the movie "Basketball Diaries" and shootin up that Heroin, YUM! I wish I could find your side profile mugshot, I am amazed by your dopie gaze just so elegant and serene. Some how it seems like you've been thru this before! Your lips so pink with a perfectlty trimmed beard eloping around them.. I hope you secured your job on the set of Men in Black 3 as Will Smiths evil brother genius brother! If not, then just hang tight I'm sure one reality television producer will scoop you up as the next hot thing and give you an advance and I'll still be sitting here making fun of you for free! FML
P.S. Your so Cute, Congrats!

The Day We All Left Our Wombs....

     
      As I came down the natural slip and slide highway my eyes blinded by the light and cigerette smoke I was somehow able to analyze the predicament I was in... Butt naked being held upside down like a trophy trout. Life was about to change. No more was I protected from daddys punches by a super soft bubble and even worse, I now had to find my own drugs. I don't remember the exact day I came to the realization that the rest of the world is retarded, altough I like to imagine I was somewhere near their current level of education, so my best guess would be 3 or 4. My cynisism has been with me since then. My goal in life (one of them) is to figure out why I am like this. Why do I hate everyone and everything, I feel like I was loved as a child, Grandma telling me she loves me then spiking my milk with Jack Daniels to shut me the fuck up because all I would ever do is question shit. ANYWAY.. Its only gotten worse really, like a reverse alzheimers patient, I think to much and over analyze. My parents used to tell me that it was a sign of intelligence, what were they going to say? "Son, your a psychopath and somewhat anti-social, and the way your mind works worries us!"
Lets get serious for a minute.. I created this blog to help myself ease up on people, to understand that not all people are equipped with a brain, and to not judge them for this. In return, I ask that you just read and contribute and donate and talk, and tell your friends what a dick I am, and "like" me on ASSBOOK, and Twat me on Twitter, and most importantly enjoy my words of wizdom! <-----(I know the real spelling)
 Well lets get on with it...
The reason I decided to write this blog is hopefully obvious to some by now...

• 1) People piss me off
• 2) I need to vent and I'm sure many others do too
• 3) The world is going to shit
• 4) 95% of the population I encounter each day is pretty much useless as a human being.
• 5) I HATE NANCY GRACE.. so Conviently shes our first topic!

This bitch needs her own section on my blog and God knows shes gonna get it! Just look at that face, full of blind justice and habeas corpus. I am going to kick shit off by saying this disGrace for a person is the posterchild for the downfall of humanity. She reminds me of the news anchor from the movie V for Vendetta hypnotizing midwest American housewives who just put the kids to bed and need someone to relate to. This bitch straight-up MURDERED Casey Anthonys reputation. Shut the fuck up, im not getting into if shes guilty or not, thats not my point here.. The point is this pointed nose goblin spent a year of her show crucifying Casey publicly, and to be honest.. CASEY being NOT GUILTY was one of the very few times Americans surprised me. For a slight second I thought we may have a chance.. but that was overshadowed by this HLN cum buckets Wheres Waldo.. err CASEY shows. I have a few words for you Grace... WHO GIVES A SHIT! SHE WAS AQUITTED and hopefully shes at your home watching your kids thru the window; one hand has choloraphorm and the other is holding a  Jose Baez business card. See your Trick ass in hell Grace! PEACE