My iPhone4S Saga.. Thanks again to AT&T of Bradenton for "holding" the last white 32GB!

Worst Buy will NEVER see another dollar from me.. to put it into prespective of how much Ive spent there in the past few months.. here is my rewards invoice.. Ive also purchased a lap top in April @ $699 and numerous cases for my iphone and many DVD's and games in between.. Oh lets not forget my ipad @$599 + keyboard $69 This is all within the last year.
Heres the recent activity....

Aug 19th $50 (Pre Ordered Madden12, Modern Warfare 3, Batman, Forza 4, Assassins Creed)
Aug 21st $150, (HP TouchPad)
Aug 30th $55 (Madden12 Video Game)
Sept 23rd $369.23 (Xbox250GB, 2 games, and a data transfer cable)
Oct 4th $55 (NBA2K12)
Oct 7th $50 (Pre Order iPhone4S)
Oct 11th $55 ( Forza 4)
Oct 13th $55 (Catherine)
Oct 14th $367.00 (iPhone4S and accessories)

Id love feed back from you guys too let me know if Im over reacting or if I am actually justified in my anger
I have a relative working at this Worst Buy so I am known by most of the employees as I usually stop by to buy stuff or talk to my relative. Thats a lil backround...

Oct 7th.. I walk in and pre-order the iphone 4S with a $50 deposit. The mobile manager, lets call him "Steve". "Steve" and I small talk a bit while he fills out the nessesary info. Nothing major and I go on my way, excited that I am one of the first people to pre order the phone, I also recieve a email conformation stating that limited quanities will be available but they will be handed out in the order in which you pre-ordered. I was # 10 out of 33. Now the hardest part is going to be waiting a week.

Oct 14th.. After work, around 12:30pm I walk into Worst Buy. Say hi to a few friends and get in line. A team leader comes up to say hi, sees that I pre ordered and says that my phones there and good to go. He said that he would take me to the other computer to get me outta here but it was down. I told him to not even worry about it. I am a regular customer and dont like being treated like Im different just because Im someones brother. I told him I didnt mind waiting in line..
"Steve" sees me on line and gives me a nod to aknowledge me, I do the same.. 45 minutes later with the most annoying people in line in front of me.. it is finally my turn. "Steve", says to me "Sorry, your phones not in yet", I thought he was joking, I kinda chuckled and said "good one" expecting him to continue with the transaction. He then says, were out of white 32GB phones and that apple didnt send them enough. I was still in like a state of shock, I mean I pre-ordered a week ago to avoid this situation. "Steve then says well you need to wait for an email, that an email will be sent to me when my phone does come in. I thought to myself, how come he didnt tell me this when I pre ordered it?! So I continued to ask him, "Bro, what about a 16Gb, a 64 GB, ANYTHING?!.. he says nope theres none left. Mean while the people in front of me had not pre ordered and were buying 2 16GB iPhones. and I knew that the customer behind me was also waiting for a 16GB. I said well why cant I get a 16Gb.. I really need a phone "Steve" he went on to tell me that I ordered the 32GB so he cant sell me anything but that and besides there are no iPhone4S' left even if he wanted too!

Heres where I started getting irratated, he kept pushing me away, like I wasnt a paying customer, like I was crackhead begging him for a hit. I was still confused and looking for answers, so I decided to go and speak with the Store Manager. I explained what had happened and that I UNDERSTAND that Apple might not have sent the phones but if I want to buy another one I should be allowed to. As we walk back toward "Steve" I see him selling one to the customer that was behind me! Again even the store manager pushed me away, I asked for a peaceful resolution, "can you call another Worst Buy?" He replied "No I cant, but you can" Then what really got to me was when "Steve" yells over at the Store Manager an says "Sorry for getting you involved in this"

Lets ANALYSE that statement.... "SORRY FOR GETTING YOU INVOLVED IN THIS"
Involved in what? a disagreement between a customer and a employee..
Involved how? By explaining to me something that "Steve" could not
Involved why? "Steve" YOU HAVE ABSOLUTLY NO COMMUNICATION SKILLS.. instead of treating me like a peice of shit.. at least pretend like I am a customer..

Back to the story..
I walked out of there so fuckin pissed off, I didnt know what to say.. I cant complain to Worst Buy.. my relative will get in trouble or there gonna start making her life hard just because of me..
I called up AT&T of Bradenton and they had 1 white 32GB left.. I asked them to save it for me and I will be there in 10 minutes.. Matt said no problem, its all yours buddy. " He didnt sell out a customer to make his numbers infalted" and I got my phone!

Back to Worst Buy...
Now i still have a $50 gift card that they need to turn back into cash.. so I need to return to Worst Buy. They ended up refunding me no problem but I believe that was only because they had nothing to say otherwise.

The Problems and how ALL of this could have been avoided..
A Manager- a person who makes decisions, delegates, and controls a team of employees to ensure that the business is heading in the proper direction. Sometimes viewed as not a part of the team. Can create anamosity between employees and supervisors.. AKA.. US vs THEM

A Leader- a person who is looked at upon times of hardship for advice and direction. A person whose opinions are considered to be the only way to go because of a proven track record or because of charasmatic management style. Can be considered "one of the guys" and usually has a open relationship with his or her employees

All in all I could give a shit about the phone.. It has nothing to do with why Im so angry.. Im angry beacause I was pushed aside like I didnt matter, like a 2 dollar hooker.. I wasnt a customer at that point. I turned into someones brother. If "Steve" knew anything about being a manager he would have eliminated persons on line what he thought had not pre ordered or that there phones had not came in. There were numerous ways he chould have defused the situation.. such as sell me a phone instead of lying to me that there were none left. I want to be a customer, not a brother or a friend, if I have a problem, I dont want to be looked at like Im mentally retarded because I got angry.. Im allowed to get angry, I was mislead by a employee. My relative went to work today and she said the first thing that "Steve" said was what was you brothers problem yesterday.. I wish he would ask me that question himself like a REAL MAN, if you think I have a problem, ask your self this STEVE.. how did that problem start?
Need an answer? YOU.. because I didnt walk in with a problem.. I encountered the problem when you treated me like 3 year old.. AND SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.. YOU ACTUALLY PASSED THE PSYC TEST WHEN APPLYING FOR THE POSITION...

THERE MUST BE A "PROBLEM" WITH THE TEST...

BOYCOTT WORST BUY..
NEVER AGAIN WILL A DOLLAR BE SPENT!

Forza 4 Review

Ahh this is a change of pace and someting that I decided to include in my blog because video games are a part of my daily life. So, since I enjoy analyzing things, video games are a great medium. So here we go!

THE GOOD: Incredible graphics, accurate true to life sound, too many cars to count and more are always added, attention to detail when it comes to EVERYTHING. Improved A.I., Great response true to life control for each car, Accommodates to all levels of difficulty, gives choice of vehicle when leveling up, Rewards you for playing Forza 3 by giving you money and cars when you start depending o your level.

THE BAD!: A.I. can act VERY wierd sometimes, no new products of customization (rims, body kits), kinda feels like Forza 3.2 when you first start, No tutorial on how to drift, New affinity system only has 4 levels ( more about this in the review), can use more "useful" cars

So after installing the second CD, and playing the Alps level in the Ferrari Italia with all systems on, even assited braking, it got me back into the feeling it takes control a powerful car on a tight and twisting road. A few brief narrations about the new world tour racing systems, I was given a choice of purchasing a car. I went with the Citrogen. After racing a few races, I leveled up a couple times in both the affinity system and the driver level. Heres is the on thing that really irked me. Lets start with the bad, the Affinity system, now let me make this clear, I've only raced a few times so this may take a different role later on in the game, I dont know.. But heres how it works as of now. Every time you win a race you gain XP.. Obvious,,, everytime your Affinity goes up a level you recieve 25% discount on the products for the makes of automobile your driving,, If it sounds familar thats because in Forza 3 you level up a specific vehicle up to 5 levels and recieved discounts on that car the more you race it In the newleveling system if your racing in a Ford Focus and level up to the max, you can now take a GT500 Shelby and install all the top of the line gear for pennies. I feel like this was done to save money for the purchase of the cars, but it de values the in game currency dramaticly, I remember in Forza 3 that not being able to afford to do a stage 2 turbo was the difference between winning and losing.. Now I can max out the car almost as soon as I purchase it. On the other hand the driver level up system has remained the same, except for the fact that everytime you level up you dont recieve a car that Forza has pre chosen for you.. You get a choice between a few vehicles. One choice I had was between a 69 mustang, a firebird, and an AMC and I think one more car.

The gameplay: The game starts you off inside of the car at the begining of the race as each car is detailed perfectly. Your choice to stay inside or view the car from outside is a matter of preference, Ive always enjoyed the exterior view but the handling seems easier from inside. especially the cornering.. But I still miss the view of the track and the surrounding areas. The cars handle just like thier real life counterparts. From a Chevy Volt to a Mercedes SLS you have the feeling of horsepower and torque are your fingertips. Each track has also been re worked a bit.. Not any. Major differences, but the long blades of grass and the reflection of the sun off of the pavement are a great addition. What Forza 4 is still missing is actually something that has been over looked for a very long time.. A game with such detail has excluded this from the game for whatever reason they have behind it. These factors are rain, snow, wind, and night time driving. These have been excluded for reasons unknown and I can accept it because the rest of the game makes up for it. Another issue with Forza 4 is the vehicle damage, fuel consumption, and the pit stop. I havent gotten anywhere near a 40 lap race but it would be nice to see tires wear, fuel being burned and a pit team helping you change and improve your vehicle. Someone has told me that tire wear and fuel is a factor later on on the game but I think it should be throughout the whole game. Another bothersome point I have is you cannot damage a car unless you hit other cars. You can red line a engine in first gear for 4 laps and you dont have any damage done to the motor. I may be being picky here but I feel like it would imerse the player a bit better.. Such as oil changes, car washes, or actually paying for damage done to your car instead of money being taken away after a race.

Dont get me wrong I love this game and love playing it both off and online.. But there needed to be a few subtle changes made this year.
Heres a little more detail on my thoughts above..
Paying for damage... When i go into a corner too fast and bash into 3 cars and damage the front end of my car maybe a random leak should occur sometimes.. Or i blow out a strut... When the race is over i should Have to purchase another set of shocks, and have to repair my quarter panel. Or heres and idea.. If im pushing my car to hard maybe i blow the transmission, mybe the differential goes out.. ANYTHING!!

Regarding nighttime racing, it doesnt happen too often in real life but it would still be fun! A change of pace! Also theyve only added like 4 new circuts, and taken away my favorite NYC circut.. boo!

Overall: I give this game a 8.3 out of 10 a minus .07 for the lack of new items and ideas in the career and a minus 1 for degrading the ingame currency.. If it turns out that my ideas of how the affinity system is wrong then this game is hands down amazing.. And who knows maybe they will realize thier mistake and fix it! This game is a must buy if your a fan of driving and racing sims. This is not a Need For Speed like game, I must tell you that if you think that your going to hold down the R trigger and go around in circles you are in for s surprise!

Other Features: The Autovista is an amazing implemataion. You get to walk around a car, open the doors, hood, trunk and turn the engine. It also gives tidbits of the cars history and legacy. Another plus is that you can take the cars out to complete challenges to look at additional cars. Online is obviously online and you can race with 12 players at the same time. The storefront is also a great feature where you can sell your designs and the auction is where you can sell your cars... Theres so much more to do... But im gonna leave it up to you to find out,,. Grab this game off the shelf and enjoy your day!
Peace!
-YourNotME!

The Last Real City Alive....

Where else can you see a bum wearing a I Love NY hoodie sleeping on a park bench next to a neatly placed Starbucks cup? You guessed it! The best place in the world. Just after landing, still high from the 6 Valium I downed (If the Pharm that makes Diazapam wants to advertise.. Call ME!) I decided this will be the first picture I take.. Mostly because by the end of the night I will also end up like this man... Drunk, tired, and out of money. But thats niether here nor there, the reason Im typing this shit up is because I want everyone to know.. scratch that... I want everyone to UNDERSTAND that NYC is the greatest place on earth.. Holy Moses.. the girls are stunning, the food, the smells, the sounds, the livelyness!
Now Im from this great city, Born and Raised! but it still gets me, sitting next to this bum, checking his pockets for more Valium, I had a realization.. I dont have to be a dick anymore! Why the only reason Ive been this bitter before is because I thought thats how I was supposed to act.. that thats the was New Yorkers are.. BULLSHIT! We are the nicest people on the face of this earth, and will strike up a conversation just to talk.
Ive now lived in Florida for the past 8 years.. this southern hospitality crap.. is crap. I have no friends (surprised?) people wont talk to you unless they know you or heard of you or your a friends friend on Assbook.. Ive been goin to school for the past 2 years.. Ive gotten to know maybe 4 people.. It cant all be blamed on my anti social behavior.. But I dont know... maybe I was different in NYC.. maybe people realized that I was enjoying my life for the first time in 8 years.. even to ask directions.. I tested it out.. I went up to a cop.. YES just like the Dave Chappelle joke.. I went up to him and asked him to direct me to the furthest corner of the city.. straight confusion.. I threw in like 7 I thinks and 5 maybes.. a Lexa5th, an MadiWay.. and 13th Ave.. And this poor guy not knowing hes a lab rat.. literally DREW ME A FUCKIN MAP! I know where Im goin.. but this guy got me there in the fasted possible route and was even gonna run down a cab for me.. Holy Shit.. Maybe I got this whole life thing wrong.. Maybe Im an asshole because of the simple fact that I am an asshole... So I get back to where I live.. Im not namin names cause the Police will be at my door executing a search warrant on my ass. So the other day.. Im thinkin of the NYC COP.. still enamoured by him, Im sittin at a red light like damn, I think we could of been friends.. maybe I should have invited him out that night.. Sushi and Saki Bombs.. He would of liked it..
Then I realize.. back to business.. time to put my theory to the test.. so I drive around for like 45 minutes.. (thats how long it takes to find a cop around here, if I was 65 and needed help crossing the street that would have been a different story..) SO I find one.. sunglasses tinted the fuck out.. Limo tint type shit.. "Hello, offficer, Good Afternoon, HUH, can I ask you for some help?" No facial expression... just a nod as if to listen to what I have to say then consider " Umm which way to BLANK BLANK BLANK" (I didnt actually say Blank..) Again.. no facial expression.. Then this deep megatron like voice comes out of his mouth.. "Just go this way, youll know when you see it." I thanked him like 40 times.. making sure he didnt run my plate just incase I have outstanding warrants.. But its not that easy.. its not just head that way and youll see it.. its more like head that way, make a right on _____, then when you see this gas station its behind the bank on the right.. I was passed on like a $2 whore .. used and abused.. And all this time I thought I got my cynisisim from NY.. nope! its from good ol Florida.. the sunshine state.. I hate this place.. and I really dont care if you think my theory is biased.. I KNOW it is.. and I like it that way.. maybe you can tell me that NYCers think there the best because were spoiled... its probably also true.. But Im done being a DICK..(not 100%) Im gonna enjoy my life.. but Im still gonna let my emotions out when they need to be.. Lifes full of Cocaine.. I make Crack.. Thats the NYCer in me.. in Florida.. that term would be.. If life gives you Sudafed.. Then make Meth..
I LOVE NYC!

Its Kinda Crazy... Nancy Grace!

Now this post has nothing to do with Nancy Grace.. but it seems that my page views spike every time I post her name.. who knew she could be a literal cash cow!. Anyway on to the subject!, Ive realized to all the people who dont read my blog that I sometimes come off rash, and ill advised and for that Im not really sorry but Im feeling a bit wooosahh these days.. maybe its the weather changing or maybe its my visit to good ol' NYC.. But per some request from somewhere Ive decided to be more level headed and basicly not such an asshole.. (although I still hate Nancy Grace)..

Now on with the world! and watch my views spike.. all because of Nancy Grace Nancy Grace Nancy Grace Nancy Grace.. Dancing with the stars, dancing with the stars, the x factor the x factor, The biggest loser, The biggest loser, bridezillas, bridezillas, the gotti boys, jersey shore, sugar high (sorry Duff this shows gotta go), TerraNova, Housewives of Orange, Jersey, NYC, ATL, Paris, Equador, Hong Kong, Cambodia, Amsterdam, and most importantly Iraq!

This is gonna be great.. I love today!

MLB 2k11 Perfect Game Challenge .. FML

This is evidence that I was 1 inning away from a perfect game while playing MLB2k11.. If you dont know.. They are offering a Millie for the first person to pitch a perfect game.. I got the first 2 outs.. and then allowed a single up the middle to blow the whole thing.. I have to admit.. I cried, I cried and I cried.. God must be laughing at me.. to bring me so close to a life changing amount and to take it all way with one virtual hit! Manny "fuckin" Parra.. I will never forget than name as long as I live!!

Update: the next day I found out that someone had already won.. but that doesnt change the fact I had no idea about that the night before.. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT I WENT THROUGH?! it still hurts.. winner or no winner...

This genius decided that they wanted to over indulge, and over compensate for having a scooter by parking in the big boys spot... Mean while I am driving around looking for a parking spot for over 25 minutes.. Im late for class, so what did I do? I said fuck it... and I parked in the motorcycle parking area... I got out of class to find a $25 parking ticket. So I did what any normal person would do.. I stuck a potato in the scooters exhaust pipe and watched it stall out while driving down the street. Next time, park your scooter some where else.. or else the potato in the muffler joke will turn into a potato silencer joke..

Random Acts of Gayness

When I was this homos..err homies age.. it was all about cops and robbers, man hunt, fire, and pussy. This is how you know parents are getting soft on their kids.. My dad would have been punched in the throat if I even thought of some crazy shit like this! This kiddo is enjoying is mid morning bike ride thru the suburbs of Nebraska and what better way to express yourself as a sensual, caring, "knows what its like to feel like a woman" kinda man?.. RIDE A FUCKIN UNICORN! God knows that probably in my deep dark subconsience I too wanted to bareback a Unicorn, but as a MAN.. I mentally beat the shit out of my thoughts and did what all kids do at his age... buy a Play Boy.. and jerk off.. If this is a precursor for whats to come... This pork pop will be driving a Toyota Prius as his first car while is friend on the big bad blue bike is beating him off to the beat of "Bad Boys"

WTF?

This is sooo true!

Nancy "Miss Piggy" Grace

"Hes pushing me around the ballroom like I'm a wheel barrow"... This is an exact quote from the Queen Pig herself, I give her credit for at least acknowledging that she does resemble an object that can be used to carry horse shit. But for me thats not enough.. This former District Attorney is now going to consume more valuable television time. I know what her real problem is.. Her Penis Fly Trap hasnt had a recreational dick inside of her probably since... well FOREVER. I do not get how anyone can enjoy an hour of television with the Clit Cyborg as the host. NOW shes going to be dancing her heavy ass around a ball room while thinking about where Casey Anthony is hiding.. One hint.. IN YOUR ASS? oh wait.. that cant be.. thats because your head is so far up your hershey highway you seem to think that what you actually do on television is a good thing. And I'll give you credit when credit is do Nasty Grace.. It may actually be a good concept.. half news.. half legal counsel... I get it.. I REALLY DO.. but the way you go about accusing people.. concocting a half assed conspiracy theory with nothing but circumstancial evidence, blows my mind!! I have to remind myself you were actually an DA.. have you forgotten a thing called REASONABLE DOUBT.. or I dunno.. INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY? God knows if Casey killed her daughter or not... but I swear it felt great knowing that all your hard work to murder that girls reputation didnt ammount to shit.. and what did you do? instead of explaining to your retarded moo moo wearing audience that this is a part of our justice system.. YOU started belittling and blaming it on the jury! 12 people with minds of thier own came to a single verdict and who are you to question them? AM I supposed to be scared next time I'm selected to jury duty?

"Oh no... if I dont convict this person on the DA's half ass story filled with holes.. Nancy Grace is going to air me out on television"

Is this what you want people to feel while deciding on a persons life? Everyone is entitled to thier own opinions.. but when your opinions start affecting other people your no better than Hitler..YOU are the reason I will one day become a defense attorney.. to protect the wrongly accused from over zealous DA's like yourself..

Lawyers who forget they are playing with another humans life

Lawyers who make it all about winning and not about truth. (Jeff Ashton)

Lawyers who just want the money, the law firm, or the television show (Nancy Grace)..

Your nothing but Snookie with a law degree...

I promise you I did not photo shop this... I found this red neck over compensating his pride at a local resturant. It seems that he wants all of us to know that he loves his country... Funny thing is.. Those flags are made in China. I dont get it.. why 6 flags? are there 6 Americas? is he OCD and he prefers the number 6.. and on the front windows?! Does this guy NEVER open his front windows.. "One sec officer, can you hold the flag as I open my window?" This just proves to me what I already know, over compensations are usually a cause of a small penis.. Hes got a Ford F250, 6 flags, and a appietite for gas consumption. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Burger King Nastiness

Today I became a temporary balimic minus the binge eating. Not knowing what to nutrify my lonesome body with for lunch I decided upon a "single stacker" from Burger King. Just about 3/4 done with this morsel of death, I got curious, opened it up, and this is what I see... Now, I know ground beef when I see it, but this gray, polka dotted, slab of meal worms crawled back out of my stomach as fast as it went in. I cant blame anyone but myself.. what did I expect from a burger that only cost me $1.07. Even worse, what did I expect from Burger King. I doubt I can ever eat at the 3 points of the devils pitchfork every again after seeing this... Those are McDonalds, Wendys, and Burger King. The old statement is definately true.. Quantity is not Quality..

Cat-Hole

This is a definately a great idea when your snorting Meth for 4 days straight. This neanderthal has obviously decided to ink a portrait of his pussy on this stomach.. One miscommunication with the TAT-MAN and you end up with a kitten instead of a manly vagina. What worries me is that this mans belly button looks like the umbilical cord was bit off by a tarpon. I can imagine this animal lover ironicly getting mauled by a gang of cats.. or getting his ass whooped by a bunch of pussys.. Lol (pun intended) I think that after installing a kitty on your body.. you lose the right to call anyone else a pussy.. or an asshole.. for that matter.. This tool makes a quife (vaginal fart) look manly.... and for that im impressed! But for real... this shmuck set human evolution back atleast 20 years.. So for that.. I rate this TAT 3 cow patties out of 5

Are You Real?

This couple is taking a stroll down the middle of a 2 lane road. The alleged father of the little monster in the stroller is staring down the car because they honked at them. This couple seems to forget a vital part of Floridas road rules... YOU NEED A CAR! These siblings are probably high on oxycontin looking for a law suit to pay for their next doctors appointment. Even after someone honks at them they dont move over to the SIDE of the road! MAYBE because thier minds lack the natural power of common sense. That little person inside your head saying "hey this isnt a good idea" but most likely they only have the little monkey with tamborines doing back flips where thier liquified brain matter should be... And we allow people like this to have children?! Can you imagine this child in a few years? Parking on parkways and driving down driveways.. like "what did I do?!.. This is what my parents taught me was right!".. This is what happens when both supervising adults of this child were the result of a Pre-Cum ejaculation.. The sperm that sits at the tip of the penis exposed to the natural elements instead of being protected in the labyrinth of the testicals. Simply put, theses two mental patients, should have this child taken away.. this child is going to grow up and be able to VOTE?! (If were lucky he'll be a felon by the age of 12) But what if hes not? AMERICA.. these are the kind of people we need to be careful of! We should have to fill out an application in order to have a child! (China does it...)

This mother has lost her maternial instincts and replaced them with an addiction to Roxys, and we let them roam this wonderful country of ours.. and then we're liable to pay taxes so that this Parental Unit Of The YEAR can live off section 8, Food Stamps, SSI, Disability, Cash Assistance, Church Donations, and Fundraisers... Think twice when you give the pan handler the change in your ash tray.. They may be IDIOTS RAISING IDIOTS...

Banana Scented Motorcycle Dueche Bags

This was supposed to be about the lifeless zombie who was tailgating me on his cock vibrator in the rain no less, but I found this video on youtube that much more entertaining. "Did I pop a tire?" No dickhead, you just financed a vehicle for 72 months @ $850/month and since your soft skull cannot grasp the concept of physics, you flipped that bitch into a ditch in the 3rd week. Next time your credit gets good enough to afford a ride with more than 100hp do your testaserone show on a road that is atleast 2 cars wide.. Its called a safety zone Billy Bob Jr Jr.

Check out the video below.. check this crack lord out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcFy-vDXNiI&feature=related

WTF?

I mean how do I explain this? Bitch look like a bad remake of Black Hawk Down. Is that an award in that toolboxs' hand? Do me a favor and drink the Kool-Aid, but not before you actually dig your own grave, no one should be burdened with your dead weight.

Parkin' Lots...

School started for me this week.. And as you can tell I cant even get away from idiots while attending a institution of higher learning. This paint chip eating Redneck pulls into the spot next to me and doesnt even question her parking job. Now that gay Rav4 aint mine.. but I feel sorry for them (kinda) I'd let you know how I feel about that but thats not todays topic. This minivan driving, I had 5 kids by the time the 5th one was 5 years old and finally I can go back to school with my massive stretch marks poppin' out of my tubetop... Slut bitch. BTW yes.. that is a dent on the trunk. there are also 2 more dents on the left side and another on the right side that you can kinda see..  I had to move my car.. but I also sat in the parking lot for a good 30 minutes trying to figure out HOW someone can park like THIS and just walk away! I honestly cannot wrap my mind around it. Is this shit a brain teaser? I wish I could of taken a picture of the inside of this caravan as well. With no middle seats.. shit looked like a barn... kinda reminded me of the void in between this bitches ears.. The ironic thing is.. I walked into my critical thinking and logic class and this gonareha infested sliver of soap on the shower floor was in my class! But heres the kicker, if you dont know how bad Florida drivers are, let me explain this to you..  the on road driving test, it involves a circle made from cones, a stop sign held down by a sand bag, and a diagnol parking spot. So can I really blame this inbred?

Genius

Todays winner of my FIRST EVER ARE YOU REAL?! AWARD
Dear Genius, what can I say about you that probably hasnt already been said? If I only could know what those chinese letters on your rosy cheeks mean. Your like Lil Waynes stunt double; but only if he was the lead character in the movie "Basketball Diaries" and shootin up that Heroin, YUM! I wish I could find your side profile mugshot, I am amazed by your dopie gaze just so elegant and serene. Some how it seems like you've been thru this before! Your lips so pink with a perfectlty trimmed beard eloping around them.. I hope you secured your job on the set of Men in Black 3 as Will Smiths evil brother genius brother! If not, then just hang tight I'm sure one reality television producer will scoop you up as the next hot thing and give you an advance and I'll still be sitting here making fun of you for free! FML
P.S. Your so Cute, Congrats!

The Day We All Left Our Wombs....

     
      As I came down the natural slip and slide highway my eyes blinded by the light and cigerette smoke I was somehow able to analyze the predicament I was in... Butt naked being held upside down like a trophy trout. Life was about to change. No more was I protected from daddys punches by a super soft bubble and even worse, I now had to find my own drugs. I don't remember the exact day I came to the realization that the rest of the world is retarded, altough I like to imagine I was somewhere near their current level of education, so my best guess would be 3 or 4. My cynisism has been with me since then. My goal in life (one of them) is to figure out why I am like this. Why do I hate everyone and everything, I feel like I was loved as a child, Grandma telling me she loves me then spiking my milk with Jack Daniels to shut me the fuck up because all I would ever do is question shit. ANYWAY.. Its only gotten worse really, like a reverse alzheimers patient, I think to much and over analyze. My parents used to tell me that it was a sign of intelligence, what were they going to say? "Son, your a psychopath and somewhat anti-social, and the way your mind works worries us!"
Lets get serious for a minute.. I created this blog to help myself ease up on people, to understand that not all people are equipped with a brain, and to not judge them for this. In return, I ask that you just read and contribute and donate and talk, and tell your friends what a dick I am, and "like" me on ASSBOOK, and Twat me on Twitter, and most importantly enjoy my words of wizdom! <-----(I know the real spelling)
 Well lets get on with it...
The reason I decided to write this blog is hopefully obvious to some by now...

• 1) People piss me off
• 2) I need to vent and I'm sure many others do too
• 3) The world is going to shit
• 4) 95% of the population I encounter each day is pretty much useless as a human being.
• 5) I HATE NANCY GRACE.. so Conviently shes our first topic!

This bitch needs her own section on my blog and God knows shes gonna get it! Just look at that face, full of blind justice and habeas corpus. I am going to kick shit off by saying this disGrace for a person is the posterchild for the downfall of humanity. She reminds me of the news anchor from the movie V for Vendetta hypnotizing midwest American housewives who just put the kids to bed and need someone to relate to. This bitch straight-up MURDERED Casey Anthonys reputation. Shut the fuck up, im not getting into if shes guilty or not, thats not my point here.. The point is this pointed nose goblin spent a year of her show crucifying Casey publicly, and to be honest.. CASEY being NOT GUILTY was one of the very few times Americans surprised me. For a slight second I thought we may have a chance.. but that was overshadowed by this HLN cum buckets Wheres Waldo.. err CASEY shows. I have a few words for you Grace... WHO GIVES A SHIT! SHE WAS AQUITTED and hopefully shes at your home watching your kids thru the window; one hand has choloraphorm and the other is holding a  Jose Baez business card. See your Trick ass in hell Grace! PEACE